The Prime Minister spoke of Peppa Pig World as if it were some shining utopia for the United Kingdom to aspire to become.
But is the world of Peppa Pig really as perfect as it seems?
This treatise will explain how the world of Peppa Pig came to be as a post-apocalyptic dystopia following the overthrow and fall of humanity,
and will also explore the nature of the animal-based society that has replaced it, and the contemporary issues it faces.
If we are to begin to try to understand the nature of the society of the animals which occupies the world of Peppa Pig, we must first explore how this society came to be.
It is very strongly implied that humans exist, or rather, used to exist, in the world of Peppa Pig.
This is due to a number of hints and traces of the human era scattered throughout the show.
The infrastructure (roads, computers, cars) aside, there are definitely a few remnants that prove humans once existed.
Firstly, we have this:
The human dolls clearly prove that humans used to exist in this world, and that the animals have a vague recollection of what they looked like.
This places the timespan for the overthrow of humanity to be within living memory of the current time.
This raises the question of if there are any humans left, given that the show seldom seems to depict any.
The Queen, being an immortal being*, has of course survived.
But she's evidently been kicked out of her position as head of state, and is reduced to driving buses to earn her keep.
A far cry from the height of her reign, and despite her putting on a brave face for it, being the last human alive is no doubt a lonely existence.
Aside from the remnants of humans, we also get a glimpse at London.
It appears to be (for the most part) intact, surviving as a last bastion of civilisation.
The numerous civilians on the pavement indicate that life is (to an extent) carrying on as normal.
The fact that the animals have not laid waste to the city says a lot about how this animal society came to be.
The landscape here is totally barren.
The only trees are all of one species, evidenced by their identical appearance, and sparsely distributed.
The grass also has precious little in the way of shrubs and flowers apart from the sad little patches of yellow and white flowers.
This would suggest that the land has been ravaged, either by a scorched-earth strategy, or from heavy nuclear shelling.
From the children's smiling faces you'd have no idea that this landscape has seen so much violence and destruction, but it all becomes clear when one notices the complete lack of biodiversity.
This shows that the rural ecosystem of this new animal-dominated world is on the verge of total collapse.
The next thing we need to talk about is exactly what these animals are.
The fact that all the inhabitants of this world are equal citizens, despite all being different species, shows that this world affords its citizens near-perfect racial equality.
This is one thing that the human world struggled to accomplish, showing the animal world has one or two upsides.
Also, a suspension of thee animals' normal predatory habits seems to be in place, alhtough this can occasionally be put under strain.
Miss Crocodile and Mr Lion, the zookeepers, eye Madame Gazelle hungrily, as they weigh up whether they should eat her, or not.
Mr Lion gets her name wrong several times, suggesting that he sees her as a 'lesser citizen' than himself, and perhaps available for him to eat if he so desires.
There is a moment of tension, as the zookeepers weigh up whether they should listen to their instincts and eat Madame Gazelle, or conform to the new social norms of their society.
Eventually, the zookeepers rule in favour of Madame Gazelle, and they give the nervous Madame Gazelle and her class a packed lunch to eat.
She may have survived this time, but Madame Gazelle's near-miss shows that the society is based on somewhat shaky foundations.
This concept of 'lesser citizens' also hints at a much darker truth about the world of Peppa Pig.
In a world ruled, and inhabited, solely by animals, the need for zookeepers seems obsolete and perhaps even more than a little questionable.
But the very existence, and need for, a zoo suggests a possible origin of the animal-inhabited world.
The penguins seem to lack the intelligence and ability to speak and think possessed by the spectators on the left.
This suggests that the animals were produced as follows:
In a series of horrific and unethical experiments, a human laboratory attempted to genetically engineer and modify livestock to be more intelligent, and to be able to think and speak.
(I don't personally subscribe to the fan theory that Peppa is over 7ft tall, but if you do, it lends credence to my genetic modification and experimentation theory.)
Eventually, the test subjects became intelligent enough to understand their predicament, and grew to despise their human masters.
One day, the subjects of one such lab overthrew and massacred their human masters, with the revolt spreading across the globe.
This resulted in the systematic purge and displacement of humanity from the world they inhabited.
The animals rose to take their place, and have attempted to form a new society that benefits them first and foremost.
This nightmarish doomsday scenario is comparable to a cross between a George Orwell novel and a horror film.
It also seems that animals not fortunate enough to have been 'upgraded', as it were, are exhibited in zoos for the amusement of the general public in a situation not dissimilar to the bedlam hospital.
There are a few clues as to when this uprising might have occured.
We've already looked at the Queen, which shows her aged into the early 2000s at the very least, though her immortality means that her age cannot be accurately predicted beyond that.
There are a couple of technological hints that can more accurately pin down the date.
Since the society is on the verge of collapse (which will be further elaborated upon later), technological progress will likely have stagnated since the fall of humanity.
Firstly, Mummy Pig's rather chunky computer and CRT monitor show that the uprising took place some time before the late noughties.
Secondly, this card reader that Mrs Rabbit is holding appears to be from either the late nineties or early noughties, judging by the green LCD screen and apparent lack of contactless ability.
This sets the revolution as occuring somewhere between 1995 and 2005.
The actual date in which the events depicted in the show are later than that, and due to the Queen not having aged much further, are probably set in the 2010s or 2020s.
This gives us a world some 15-20 years after the overthrow of humanity.
Ample focus has been given to the rise of the animals, and we must now look at the issues that their society faces.
The world of Peppa Pig has many issues that threaten the very survival of the society.
The first one we will look at is the state of the local law enforcement.
The human police have been,
shall we say,
"disposed of"
by the animals.
Nevertheless, a society cannot function without a police form of some sort to keep the citizens in order.
Thus, following the extermination of the entire British police force, we have a grand total of two new police officers to maintain the rule of law.
Meet Sergeant Squirrel and Detective Inspector Panda - two somewhat docile police officers who seem about as capable of investigating a crime as the doughnuts they are eating.
Incidentally, you don't seem to see any red squirrels in the show, so perhaps red squirrels were not fortunate enough to be 'upgraded'.
This dynamic policing duo don't seem to do much more than patronise the local bakery and run a glorified lost-and-found department.
The apparent lack of any real crime despite the rather hands-off approach the police have taken to policing suggests one of two things:
1) The animals are genetically engineered to be sedate and docile.
2) The lack of crime is due to the efforts of a more proactive secret police force.
Both genetic manipulation and an animal-based equivalent of STASI are similarly nightmarish and kafka-esque, but we'll gloss over that to look at the work done by the visible police force.
Peppa and co. arrive at the police force in the hope that the lost Mr Dinosaur will have been found and handed in.
And so the police officers, delighted to have something to do, go a little off-task and show off their entire collection of human loot, which might as well be marked as "$WAG".
Apart from yet another CRT monitor, there are a couple of items of note here:
1) The landlines on the top shelf. How exactly those get lost when they are meant to stay inside the house is somewhat doubtful.
2) The pram just behind Daddy Pig. How that got lost is even more worrying: a pram normally has a baby in it when taken outside, and it raises the worrying question of what has happened to the baby.
3) The hacksaw on the shelf above DI Panda. Considering that it's a dangerous weapon, perhaps it might be better used as evidence in an upcoming criminal trial instead of being stored in DI Panda's man-cave. One middle-aged man to another, Daddy Pig seems the most interested in DI Panda's collection.
After flaunting the lost property, DI Panda and SGT Squirrel show off their haul of looted gold.
There's a lot to take in here.
Firstly, this is a rather brazen display of police corruption as all this treasure is probably looted from stately homes following the eviction of their erstwhile human occupants.
Secondly, in a somewhat admirable display of cunning, all the objects are labelled as criminal evidence, to prevent them from being removed by the coroner under the Treasure Act 1996.
The corruption aside, this is a fairly spectacular haul, although why anyone would decide to make gold-plated apples and pears is beyond my understanding.
Eventually, Mr Dinosaur is found, in the boot of the family car.
It's all smiles from the Pig family as Mr Dinosaur is found in the boot of the family car.
However, DI Panda cackles ominously as he realises he can prosecute the whole family for wasting police time.
Even SGT Squirrel is relishing the prospect of finally having a crime to investigate, instead of merely running what is effectively a glorified lost-and-found department.
That said, considering how DI Panda and SGT Squirrel weren't doing anything more important than eating doughnuts, it remains to be seen if DI Panda's case to charge the Pig family will stand up in court.
One further note on the police: judging by how we already saw DI Panda on the streets of London as the bus went past, there can't be that many policemen in this new world, suggesting that another, clandestine, police force is responsible for doing the dirty work concerning the prevention of crimes.
Next, we are going to look at the rampant implosion of the NHS and the total absence of any meaningful public healthcare infrastructure.
For once, government cuts don't seem to be to blame for difficulties faced by the National Health Service, as a total overthrow and genocide of humanity has been all of the nails in the coffin for the beleagured NHS.
Nevertheless, there are a few somewhat ineffectual remnants of the United Kingdom's healthcare system.
Let's look at the brave souls whose job it is to treat the various mishaps and maladies of the animal kingdom.
Following a somewhat dubious situation in which Pedro Pony injures his nose and soils his glasses as a result of a tortoise falling on him, four different healthcare professionals from four different fields are called out.
From left to right, we have:
Dr Brown Bear, the GP (for want of a better word).
Dr Pony, the Optician.
Dr Hamster, the Vet (again, like the zookeepers, caters to those not blessed with the gift of independent thought).
Dr Elephant, the Dentist. Judging by everyone's perfect teeth, he seems relatively competent. Either that or processed foods are a thing of the past.
Note the different logos on each of the doctors' briefcases.
Instead of one symbol indicating one healthcare provider, we instead have four different logos.
This indicates that each doctor belongs to a different healthcare company.
For it would sadly seem that, as well as the human race, the NHS has also been a casualty of the animal revolution, and in its place a new healthcare system has arisen.
We now have privatised healthcare, with no central system. The standards of each doctor vary wildly.
I am satisfied at the competence of Dr Elephant because everyone present has perfect teeth (young Richard Rabbit also has good teeth, so the others all probably have real teeth instead of plastic falsies).
Dr Pony also has a cleaning cloth which can remove mud from glasses without stains or streaks, which is impressive, but we don't see much in the way of actual medical practice from him, so we can't judge him too accurately.
Dr Hamster manages to recognise that the best way to treat an upturned tortoise is to pick it up and turn it over. Perhaps she should examine the tortoise to see if it suffered any damage from the fall, but other than that, she's alright.
But then we come to Dr Brown Bear, and oh dear me there is so much wrong with his medical practice that it beggars belief that he still is allowed to practice medicine.
There is a litany of problems with Dr Brown Bear's methods:
1) Pedro suffered a mild bash on the nose from a falling tortoise. There is no bleeding, so it is not appropriate to use a plaster. The only possible ailments requiring treatment are a bruise (an ice pack would be the best way to address this), or, less likely, a broken nose (if Pedro's nose was broken, everyone would know about it from his plaintive screams of agony).
2) Dr Brown Bear is supposedly a well-educated professional doctor, and thus should be able to use a little initiative to wipe the glasses and turn over the tortoise instead of calling the other doctors. Even then, Dr Pony can't seem to work out that you're meant to turn the tortoise so it is facing feet side down, which doesn't reflect well on him either. This shows a poor standard of education in the society, and that whatever medical school these supposed "professionals" attended (if any) is somewhat lacking in academic rigour.
3) Possibly the biggest error of them all, Doctor Brown Bear is far too keen to attend each and every medical situation and provide treatment or medication whether it is appropriate or not. If you think I am being unfairly harsh about this one, here is a real GP who agrees with me that Doctor Brown Bear should encourage self-care for minor ailments of the calibre seen in Peppa Pig.
In defense of Doctor Brown Bear, perhaps his keenness to attend each and every medical "disaster" is because of the lack of any genuine medical emergencies.
Perhaps the fact that we never see anyone in a dire condition with a severe external bleeding or any chronic conditions is simply because the lack of proper healthcare means they die before the doctor can arrive, or he can't save them because the standard of healthcare has largely regressed to a medieval standard.
This lack of proper healthcare is having a knock-on effect on the rest of the society.
Perhaps in part because of a lack of healthcare, and also because there are no humans to ration the animals' food supply, everyone is perhaps more a little round than they ought to be.
Evidently, in the absence of the NHS and public health campaigns, the obesity crisis has grown to encompass all of society, and this causes real problems for the animals.
Let me present Exhibit A:
Such is the prevalence of the obesity crisis that three grown adults are now stuck, although Mrs Rabbit deserves partial credit for managing to get further than the other two.
Daddy Pig is sent in to rescue the others, although his expression freezes as he realises the fate about to befall him:
Inevitably, Daddy Pig succumbs to the inevitable and gets trapped.
Luckily, someone has the bright idea to call the rescue helpline to come and save the day!
And it's operated by Mrs Rabbit!
Who is also stuck in the climbing frame!
Eventually, the children rescue their parents, but this leads to our final question:
How many jobs does Mrs Rabbit have?
We've already seen Mrs Rabbit in the Doll Hospital, and also as the manager of the rescue helpline, and as one further example, here she is running a gift shop:
With Mrs Rabbit having this many jobs, it's a miracle that she had the time to go to the soft play party!
This indicates that either the world is severely underpopulated, and thus some people must work at multiple jobs in order to prop up the ailing economy; or that there is more than one Mrs Rabbit.
Who knows? Perhaps this society has thrown off the shackles of "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and has embraced polygamy with open arms, although it's slightly disappointing to see that the world has no trace of the swinging sixties.
In Peppa Pig, we are shown a world where horrific genetic modifications have given animals the gift of independent thought, and this has been used to overthrow the human oppressor.
The revolution took place between 1995 and 2005, and we are shown the world 15 to 20 years later.
This new society has to cater to those animals not fortunate enough to be able to think or speak, but other than that appears to have made great strides in racial equality (but Madame Gazelle's encounter with the zookeepers indicates that this is shaky at best).
However, their society faces many issues, such as police corruption, a lack of proper healthcare, poor standards of education, widespread obesity and possible underpopulation.
Despite this, the animal world carries on, and given how they've already passed the biggest hurdle (namely, the elimination of humanity), we can only wish them well in their brave new world.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article, as I had to sit through more episodes of Peppa Pig than I care to mention.
I also had to manually type nearly 25,000 bytes of html code in notepad.
Incidentally, I noticed that the theme tune is clearly ripped off from the Westminster Chimes.